Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
wow bdsm is so cute
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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