It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
