She announced her abortion via fbk
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
