WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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