Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
