I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
