Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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