Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
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