I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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