You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Randomize
