Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth

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(818): View more from California

I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.

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(361): View more from Texas

Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets

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(626): View more from California

a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms

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(612): View more from Minnesota

I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her

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(503): View more from Oregon

I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?

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(513): View more from Ohio

that sounds horrible...

(740): View more from Ohio

what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run

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(310): View more from California

I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.

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