It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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