sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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