i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
