sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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