you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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