She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
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