we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Randomize
