If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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