Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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