ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize
