And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
