I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
