i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
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