We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
