He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
we're so committed to being not committed
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
