Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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