You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
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