I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
