i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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