everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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