sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
