Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
