covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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