worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
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