he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
