i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
