Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
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