Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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