Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
