Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
