Someone shit on the floor
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
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