her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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