Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
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