So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize