there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
