people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Randomize
