it's too hot outside to masturbate.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Randomize
