remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
