I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Randomize
