Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
you never un-have a 4some
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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