Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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