dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Randomize
