Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
