I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
