You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
