she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Randomize