shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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