I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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