Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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