She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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