I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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