But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
