If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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